An Ode to Minecraft (63/365)

Hello one and all! This is a very special post today. Both Tyler and I wrote this post. This is the first post that we have ever written together. And by the looks of it, I think we are going to continue doing so because I think this post is amazing. Perhaps the best post that either of us has ever done. I hope you all enjoy it as much as Tyler and I do.

You are the wonderful game that has changed us all. Minecraft, the game of the future, but also a game of the past. A game which is living proof that video games don’t need amazing, real-life graphics to be great. Just because you don’t have a nose, or any round shapes doesn’t mean anything. A game that allows everyone to release their hidden creativity, hidden talent, and for mod makers to have fun with. It’s a game that allows people to fight each other, have competitions, but mostly, to have fun and make new friends. Anything is possible in Minecraft. Someone can role play as a knight, or fly a plane with mods.

To Mojang, one of the coolest game developers out there. First off, you guys are Swedish. That makes you guys instantly cool. Also you guys created Minecraft, the best indie game out there yet.

And to the Creepers. If it wasn’t for you we wouldn’t bother closing our doors at night, We live in fear of the hiss sound so commonly heard. You go around, exploding and creating such a wonderful mess for us in the morning. Thanks to you we know to check under our beds, to light up our houses, and how to make TNT. You may have destroyed house #1-10 but we keep on building. But no longer do we have to worry, for we have cats! Cats, the one thing that scares you away. Why so scared of Cats, we will wonder? Only you know, you deadly, griefing Creepers. No need to worry though, we will still see you. We will merely aim at you down the sights of our bows, within the safety of our Cats. No hard feelings.

Onto the Skeletons, you freaking bastards. No one likes you, and we all hate you. You sniping jerks. You know i used to enjoy night-time strolls, until I took a freaking arrow to the knee! Everytime we go outside, you shoot us. You hide up high and snipe. And to make things worse, you’ve decided to start riding Spiders. Spiders? Really? No need to worry though, because of you we have a steady supply of arrows. Oh yes did I tell you, I used your brothers leg as a chew toy for my wolf. That’s right, a chew toy. Also your friends head serves as a nice instant plant powder. Finally a use for you guys!

Oh spiders…you are quick little jerks aren’t ya? You guys can run after us really fast, and as if that wasn’t enough, you can climb stuff. We can go fishing because of you guys, and fish is really tasty. And those spider eyes that you drop, why the hell would we want a spider eye? Sure we can eat it but then we get poisoned. “Honey, I’m home. Guess what’s for supper kids? Spider eyes!” “YAY!”

Cave Spiders, why do you poison us so? I know that we destroy your nests in search of iron and diamond, but why you be hating us? We mean you no harm, once we get our diamonds we leave. We don’t enjoy destroying your webs either, it damages our sword. we would rather beat on the pigs above ground.

Spider jockeys. We almost never see you guys but I’m glad that we don’t. The combination of the two worst mobs in the Overworld, Spiders and Skeletons, what could be better? Oh wait, I know, EVERYTHING!

Endermen. Why are you so mean? All we want is to have a face-to-face conversation and you beat us down. You take apart our houses, you ruin our redstone contraptions, and you basically ruin life. Why the repoman act? We know you want to build like us, but why the griefing? Although it is fun to watch you guys die from the rain or the pond next door. And also mentioning your Enderpearls. They sure help with the commute!

Zombies, you are just dumb. You walk straight towards us, through the traps we set up. Thank you for being the easiest enemy! They say zombies hunt us down to eat our flesh, but sometime it seems the other way around. I will admit, your rotten flesh is so delicious! Although your flesh is the only thing worth collecting from your corpses, we are glad that you are included in the game. How else would we be able to laugh in the face of our enemies? Thank you for being so easy.

Zombie pigmen, just like zombies you guys are very easy to kill and you drop even more rotten flesh to take over our inventory. At least you drop gold nuggets too. Now we can make Golden Apples. And I just love how you gang up on us, real fair!

Ghasts. What more is there to say about something that shoots fireballs at us? Something that lets out a terrible cry that scares the hell out of us every time we hear it? Well, you are sort of easy to kill at least, when we don’t have to run for our lives that is.

Blazes, thanks for shooting three fireballs at us while flying in the air, it just makes our day. You are almost as bad as the Ghasts.

To the slimes, you are basically cubes of jello, that stalk us throughout the night. And when we punch you, you multiply. Why? Stop it with the exponential growth, If I wanted exponential growth, I would do my Calculus homework.

Magma cubes, you guys are the cooler looking version of slimes. You jump up really high and, now, you drop magma cream which is kinda cool. Thanks for that and for being easy to kill.

Silverfish, you swarming bugs. I thought that fish means a swimming creature. You also multiply, you swarm, and you disguise yourself as stone. Thanks for scaring us during a midnight cobble run.

Pigs, you are so incredibly cute, I almost feel bad killing you for your bacon. Almost. You look at us with those cute, innocent eyes, right before we cut your head off. God I love Bacon!

Cows, you are the most useful of the mobs. Not only do you provide us with food, you provide us with the leather for armor, and the milk for cake. Because of you we have Cake! Mmmm, Cake.

To the Mooshrooms, the cows on mushrooms. I’m not sure what to say. I suppose, Thank you for the mushrooms? Oh yes, because of you we can get high off of mushrooms, and have wonderful chats with our doors. Thanks man! Peace!

Mr. Chicken, we didn’t forget about you. From the very beginning you have been useful to us as well. From making arrows, to providing eggs for cake, for providing chicken nuggets for our hungry stomachs, we all thank you.

Sheep, you allow us to make all the wonderfully colorful art that has emerged from Minecraft. You also allow us to get a good night sleep. Thank you for letting us use your wool as a back softener.

To the Squids, we don’t really have anything to say to you. You serve us no purpose, and you are easy to kill. Thanks, I think.

Villagers, I am not sure what to say. You live in villages, we take diamonds from your chests, and you remind us of Squidward. That is all.

To the Wolves, man’s best companion. You may be derpy, and you may be loud, but at least you are always there for us.(Except on laggy servers). We love you, you defend us from the dangers of Minecraftia, you help us hunt, you help us defend our house. Thank you!

To the cats/ocelots, you are extremely difficult to catch but you scare away creepers so you guys are amazing. And who can refuse those cute, little eyes? Meow…

Iron Golems, you guys haven’t been in Minecraft very long but you kick ass! You may cost a couple sets of armor and tools, but you are worth it! You live in villages with a bunch of squidwards and whenever those zombies come a knockin’ you start mowing them down like they were made of butter. Mmm, butter. Anyway, you rock!

Snow Golems, the world’s best snowmen. You may not do much damage at all, but you love snowball fights as much as we do!

To the Enderdragon. You would be so cool, if it wasn’t for the fact that you try to kill us. You live in the End dimension, a world filled with Endermen, and obsidian towers. You attack us and then fly off to recover by the Obsidian towers. You could at least make it easier on us, and just fight us face to face. And when you die, we can’t even collect your eggs. We would love to bring a cute, friendly dragon back with us. Come on!

To wheat, the animal aphrodisiac. Thank you for making Minecraft PG-13. We can finally set up a ranch, and live self sustainably.

Oh, yes! How can we forget about Melons, the most efficient food ever. Thanks for being so easy to farm and so efficient!

And lastly to the trees. You make everything possible. Due to you, we can build ourselves homes, we can build swords to defend ourselves, we can set up light with torches, we can make fishing rods, pickaxes, everything is possible with you guys. You are masters of physics, floating in the sky. However, would it kill you to have softer bark, my fists are still bloody. We may cut you down, but we love you. And don’t worry, I always plant two saplings in place of one tree I destroy!

Oh, one more thing. To Minecraft, thank you. If you did not exist then what the hell would we blog about? Modern Warfare 3? Halo? God I hope not…

Thanks for reading! Happy Mining!


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